The Clinic

I live in a neighborhood that can only be described as urban residential.  Basically, it is a maze of side streets full of small storefronts.  Most of these are like 15 feet wide or so and they contain a variety of shops with consumer goods.  Little convince stores, fruit shops, small hole in the wall restaurants, stores that sell random household goods, a store that sells mirrors and shower heads, little4 barber shops, and a store full of cheap pirated CDs and DVDs.  Basically the little shops and the street vendors who inhabit the sidewalks in front of the shops supply the community with many of its basic needs.  For anything that the little stores don't have, there is China's first Walmart right down the street.

I said it was a residential neighborhood and didn't say anything about the houses.  The neighborhood is full of high rises which rise above the storefronts up about 20 stories or so.  My school itself is built into a hill, and much of the school is built over store fonts on the street below.  No street front space is wasted.  God only knows how many thousands of people live here.  Anyway, there has to be some kind of medical care for all these people right?

There is a hospital somewhere in my little neighborhood, but I only go there because for whatever reason I always end up there when I'm lost.  Walking down the main streets I saw a place I originally thought was only a pharmacy. It is right between the other storefronts, across the street from a small restaurant, right down from a pirated DVD place and the shower head store.  So walking by I saw some desks on one side and a guy giving someone an exam.  I guessed that it was a pharmacist giving an exam to give someone the right medicine.  It didn't take it very seriously.

About a week later, when I had just gotten back from my hike and was developing quite the fever.  I remembered the pharmacy and thought Tylenol.  Okay I thought, this should be easy enough, the only stumbling block as I saw it was walking the 100 yards to the pharmacy, and I figured I could still do that even with the fever.  I got there, and there were people waiting at the counter, and I gazed across the 25 foot wide clinic.  On one side the pharmacy counter.  On the other, three desks with lounging doctors watching the TV in the corner of the room and gazing out onto the street.  Between the pharmacy on one wall and the doctors on the other there is a row of the same kind of seats that you sit in at airports while waiting for the plane at the gate.  In the back of the clinic behind the doctors desks is a dental setup where someone was getting a tooth pulled.  

One of the doctors was looking at me.  He had on a lab coat and there was a sign on his desk that said doctor in Chinese, so what the heck I thought and went over to tell him what was happening.  

I mentioned diarrhea, because it is one of the few medical problems I know how to say in Chinese, even though it really wasn't my main problem, and then motioned to my forehead and my fever.  The doctor stuck a thermometer under my armpit and checked my breathing and pulse and blood pressure while I waited for the thermometer to warm up.  Five minute4s later his exam was done and he pulled the thermometer out.  39 Degrees.  That's 102.2 Fahrenheit.  So I was right about the fever.  At this point the doctor started mumbling things in Chinese that I didn't understand.  He kept acting out an IV.  I was like IV? I need a pill or two and I'll be okay.  Well I don't know how to communicate that effectively in Chinese so I just kept nodding and saying OK and the doctor sent me over to the pharmacy counter with a long four point prescription.

I paid the pharmacist about $20 US and he motioned behind a partition to 2 small beds.  There was a Chinese girl laying on one rolling around and getting an IV and they motioned for me to lay down on the other bed and pull down my pants.  OK.  Then they pulled out a big syringe and warned me that it was going to hurt.  No problem.  I've had lots of shots before.

Actually I haven't had that many shots directly into the muscle of my ass.  They do hurt, a lot!  You feel every drop of the liquid expanding your muscle, filing it up like a balloon.  It feels like your ass is exploding.   After the shot in the ass they gave me some water to drink and started an IV through the top of my right hand.  That didn't hurt much.  I was still feverish and sweating a lot, and also pretty bored.  Played around with my phone for a while.  Tried to sleep.  Kept falling into these short dreamlike states, which were unfortunately interrupted by the noise of people talking very loudly in the clinic, or on the street (the clinic has no doors, it is open to the street in the front.) 

After a while I started staring awkwardly at the Chinese girl in the bed next to mine.  She was pretty cute.  She had great hair anyway.  I thought she might be a little older than me.  I have been having trouble meeting Chinese girls my age and I though the clinic is as good a place as any other so when I caught her checking me out I started talking to her.

All of a sudden the IV flew by.  The last 20 minutes (out of 2 and a half hours) went by in a flash because it was all me working the game.  She got my phone number off my phone before I asked for hers.  Turns out she is an 18yo freshman finance major that lives with her family in my neighborhood.  Went to the school I teach at.  Has a lot of brothers and sisters in my classes.  (Remember: big families can mean big money!)  Suddenly being sick had turned into a good thing.  This was all Saturday night.  When my IV finished I went home, promised to come back the next day and slept great.

Sunday I felt a little better but not 100 percent.  I was texting back and forth with that girl and we decided to go back to the hospital together.  The doctor did another exam and told me I needed 2 more days of IVs.  Whatever.  As far as I was concerned I was on a date.  We went back to our beds and laid down and talked the IVs away.  It started raining and she waited for me to finish because I didn't bring an umbrella.  How romantic.  We walked back to my school with my arm around her and now I'm a hell of a lot closer to getting that Chinese girlfriend than I was last week.  And my sickness?  Well Monday I decided not to work and went back for my last IV.  Right now it's Tuesday night and I felt fine today, even braved a little hot sauce with my late night snack.

What is there to be excited about... totally convinced my school to buy me a couch and a coffee table that shit should come tomorrow!

beaches and babes, and free time

The answer to the TV problem- 42".  I won't lie, that's a lot bigger than my dick.  The 47" was 6999RMB, I paid 5660RMB for my 42".  That comes out to $827 USD.  Not too bad.  I got Konika, it's the cheapest brand.  Looked all right in the store though.  I only expect this TV to last about two years.  They should be coming tomorrow to bring it and install it on my wall.  I'm pumped.  I bought an expensive surge protector, the last thing I want is a TV fucked up by the crazy power situation here.  Maybe I should have brought my PS3... idk.  Trying to spend my time doing physical activity and being creative, TV is my last priority every day, and so is a little ridiculous that I spent so muck on it, but whatever.  Hopefully I can use it as a display for my camera etc.  

My creative pursuits at the moment?  This blog for one is the new one.  Thinking about writing a novel... still thinking about it, writing a novel would be soo soo hard.  I mean writing one would be easy, but writing a decent one would be hard, and getting a first novel published is impossible.  Maybe I could do it, I don't want to take the whole thing too seriously, and If I write one it will be innovative let me assure you.  My Journal is becoming a little more of a sketchbook... mostly pen and ink drawings, sometimes with colored pencils.  I may invest in some paints, I think it would be better if I could get some wood or linoleum or something to cut out of to do my woodcuts, I already have my cutting knives with me.  If I write the book I will for sure illustrate it.

Sports have been important too.  I spend a good deal of time biking around on my mountain bike.  I like to play basketball.  Thinking about running a little more around the 200m track, that might be a good thing to do.  I really need to buy some weights at Walmart.  I can get some of the dumbbells that you can take weight on and off of.  My appetite has greatly increased since my system has gotten used to food here, so its time to regain all the strength I've lost recently.  Nothing serious, but I got all the time in the world and no excuse not to get fit any more.

So, back to my trip to the beach.  It was a tun of fun.  We went to the beach just on the other side of town, it wasn't far at all.  WE stayed at the Sheraton.  The Sheraton? One of the most baller hotels I've ever seen.  It had a massive outdoor pool, it was just off the beach, and everything was just beautifully designed, from the 30 foot tall glass sculpture hanging in the lobby to the massive bathrooms- as big as the rooms.  At the hotel I went swimming with the son of our assistant principle, the 19yo and 15yo rich girls, and their 14yo brother.  The 15yo old was all over me.  Why not you say?  No man I'm not pulling that kind of shit.  If I'm still here in three years, maybe.  Both the rich girls have boyfriends... a godsend because I don't want to think about the young one and I don't want to pretend to do long distance and have to cheat on the sly.  

The kids asked why I wasn' t dating another foreign teacher.  I'm pretty tired of American girls right now to be honest.  Never really had a bad case of the yellow fever, but I'm trying to get a Chinese girlfriend that thinks I'm the shit.  They go crazy over white guys.  I'm trying to be appreciated.  Its not too easy finding a decent Chinese gf right now.  I don't really have that much contact with Chinese girls my age.  There aren't any universities near me, all the universities here are on the edges of the cities, and I'm right downtown in the center of things.  My best chance is meeting one at McDonald's or on the street at night while I chill out and eat street food.  Meeting girls in the bar here is easy... but they are without a doubt all hoes or total gold diggers.  I've met girls on the bus in the past, but I have a bike so I don't use the bus much.  If I'm serious about getting a Chinese gf I need to stop spending all my time with my American friends and start spending more time out and about, and I'm not sure if I'm there yet.

It felt so good to swim in the ocean, I felt like a fish.  Today was the first day I've felt cool outside in Shenzhen.  No AC necessary today, the temperature was perfect.  A little cloudy.  The ocean was the temperature where it took me a few seconds to get in, but I got in fast enough and it felt great.  Its nice to feel the saltwater in your mouth and the taste the sweetness of freshwater again.  I've been writing for long enough so I'm off to lay down for a few minutes before I go out to play ping pong (which contrary to popular belief here in China is NOT a real sport) and go for a walk.  Can't wait to get the flatscreen tomorrow and solve all of my problems!

Rich Chinese Dudes

Last night I watched the Packer game over the Internet.  The thing kept freezing at first but it got better as time went on.  The quality was shitty... but hey, I got to watch the game at least!  In the commercial breaks it was flipping between the gamecast of the Brewers game and the Mets game.  At least that situation turned out well... actually amazing, considering I have never seen the Brewers go to the playoffs ever! Fuck Ben Sheets, without Sabathia we would be absolutely nowhere.  My thoughts on the only Packer game I've seen this season... where is the running game and where is the run defense?  We need at least one of those to succeed and in Tampa we had neither.  Went home after the Packer game (I watched it in an Internet cafe) and chatted it up with Jose until the Mets lost.

So I did wake up this morning dutifully after 4 hours of sleep and I was right- I was going to Guangzhou!  This was great news to me because it meant that I had a two hour ride to sleep... but when I entered the car there was a 19yo Chinese hottie with a very wealthy (and fucking mad cool)  father.  I had met two of this guys kids already, but today I found out he had 4 and met the rest of them.  That's awfully ballin in a country with the one child policy...

So I talked a bit on the ride and slept for about an hour, woke up feeling a LOT better.  In Guangzhou we ate a baller ass lunch and I got a bit tipsy off a lot of red wine... the Chinese way of getting drunk at a festive dinner by toasting everyone.  It was me, my assistant principle... who is kinda like a host mother here and is the one who introduced me to all the rich dudes, mr moneybags, the 19yo daughter and his 2 sons, my assistant principle's son, the rich guy's driver, and his son's university art professor.  The rich guy toasted the art professor mad times, got him tipsy, gave him a couple grand, and sent him off by paying for his cab and giving him a box of fruit or something.  Hellofa way to make friends with your son's teachers...

In China you can eat in a private room if you got a group.  It's got a private bathroom for sure and you have a private waitress or two that tends to the table and keeps the wine glasses not full... but with about a shot in a half in them, so you can toast and kill the glass of wine at any time without chugging or anything.  

So after lunch we went to a massive science museum but only to buy shit at the gift shop and check out the lobby.  Then we drove back to Shenzhen.  I talked to the girl in the backseat for a while and passed out again, went to my assistant principle's house for a simple dinner, taught her 20yo son to play Uno, and now its 9:30 and I'm watching the season finale of Heroes season one in my room. Bought season 2 for $3 on the way home.  Tomorrow, being treated to lunch at 11 am, leaving for the beach with all the characters from today at 1pm, going swimming by 5 and staying in a nice ass hotel.  I'd date that girl, I'm really thinking about it, but her college is kind of remote and far away and I don't know when I'd get to see her.  Probably not a good idea.  But the year is going well.  Networking effortlessly.  I'm going to be teaching until I get the skills and the connections  to live the Chinese dream- get fucking loaded and unleash my inner balla!