The Famous Grouse is in the House!

Shout out to all of you who know what that means!  That weekend in Chicago was when I decided to become a billionaire.  I think I might only have a thousand dollars to my name today, and that's only because I overdrew and got some parental help...  The night I first talked about the famous grouse was the first night we wrote out a list and asked who was committed.  To those who understand what the fuck I'm talking about... those were the days!

Shout out to Dave Homan! Shout out to T Smith! Shout out to Podo who is for sure reading this!  Shout out to the fam!  Everyone should hit me up "bzeezy" on AIM I'm trying to shoot the shit.  Got the TV installed.  Cleaned my apartment.  Turned my kitchen into a greenhouse (no weed plants unfortunately).  The Brewers lost but they were up against some amazing pitching from the Phillies.  Sabathia will take it home tonight for sure.

Just straight chillin right now.  Fixin up the spot.  Bought a dartboard.  more memories of the E.G. emerge.  That wasn't even that long ago.  Wow.  Where will we be 20 years from now?  Probly wasted as shit trying not to fall off of the yacht.  That'll be the day.

Freaked out when I couldn't work out the wires on the TV.  Wierd ass shit.  Finally got it to work through trial and error.  The TV is cool but there is absolutely no HD programming here, so it is a bit of a waste.  Financially, my 800 bucks was well spent, I can for sure sell it to another American teacher for at least 3-400 in 2 years if that's when I leave here.  Who knows if I ever will?  I love the Mil, just hate the weather, wish I could move the whole Mil over here where there is money and public transportation and jobs.  Too bad we don't have the Brewers or the Packers here though.  At least there is cheap likka.

Going to Hong Kong the day after tomorrow.  I'm excited.  Sorry, nothing profound today, but today was just another day when I took care of business and got shit done around my small as apartment.

3am vigil for the Brew Crew

No disrespect to the Cubs, FUCK THE CUBS!  I hope they fall to the Dodgers! They won't though.  Whatever.  Its now around 10pm here in China and I just ate a lot of fucking hot sauce and beer.  I'd love to smoke a cigarette right now... but I keep that shit far away from me so that I am not tempted in these moments of drunkenness (but I'm not drunk at all only drank enough to crave a cig, which aint really that drunk.)  I haven't smoked a cig in weeks and I've smoked like 5 cigarettes in the last 6 weeks since coming to China.  When you ball every day, those cig's really make themselves felt after you played a few games and worked up a sweat.  

US Politics:  Fuck the Bailout!  No money for rich bankers!  Seriously, if Bush came up with the plan, it's totally crooked.  They are trying to rob Americans of 700 billion dollars and ram it down out throats by threatening that there will be a disaster if we don't pay off the corrupt bankers.  Fuck all that.  I'm not an economist, but I was under the impression that bailouts and such made the great depression last so fucking long.  I find the whole thing interesting though.  When my grandma was 21 (my age) the stock market crashed (1929).  Now I got something in common with her (may she RIP).  Probably reincarnated already (yeah I believe in past lives and all that crazy shit).  

I'm not really around, but to me it seems the US economy is going to shit, and to voice the Chinese perspective, they are really scared.  The US is their biggest market.  Stocks here are hurting.  Me?  I don't give a fuck about the US economy.  I predicted a shitty economy, that's why I left.  I wonder how many people will apply to teach here next year, maybe they can finally afford to be selective.  Last year my "interview" consisted of our figurehead, retired Professor William O'Donnell, trying to convince me to take the job.  I was expecting him to ask me something about my qualifications or something.  He didn't call a single reference of mine.

Really pumped about the Brewers playoffs.  I'm buying the package now, at 3am when the game goes on I will either listen to it in my room over Internet radio or go to an Internet cafe and try to get video over a better connection, but I don't know if that will work particularly well, may be a very shitty connection, many bandwidth problems here due to censors etc.

My prediction for the crew?  If they win Game one, they progress, If they lose, they probably will lose the series.  If they win game one Sabathia pitches a perfect game 2, and we take the series in Milwaukee in three or four.  If we lose today, we lose in game 5. 

Tomorrow night they install my TV... : )

beaches and babes, and free time

The answer to the TV problem- 42".  I won't lie, that's a lot bigger than my dick.  The 47" was 6999RMB, I paid 5660RMB for my 42".  That comes out to $827 USD.  Not too bad.  I got Konika, it's the cheapest brand.  Looked all right in the store though.  I only expect this TV to last about two years.  They should be coming tomorrow to bring it and install it on my wall.  I'm pumped.  I bought an expensive surge protector, the last thing I want is a TV fucked up by the crazy power situation here.  Maybe I should have brought my PS3... idk.  Trying to spend my time doing physical activity and being creative, TV is my last priority every day, and so is a little ridiculous that I spent so muck on it, but whatever.  Hopefully I can use it as a display for my camera etc.  

My creative pursuits at the moment?  This blog for one is the new one.  Thinking about writing a novel... still thinking about it, writing a novel would be soo soo hard.  I mean writing one would be easy, but writing a decent one would be hard, and getting a first novel published is impossible.  Maybe I could do it, I don't want to take the whole thing too seriously, and If I write one it will be innovative let me assure you.  My Journal is becoming a little more of a sketchbook... mostly pen and ink drawings, sometimes with colored pencils.  I may invest in some paints, I think it would be better if I could get some wood or linoleum or something to cut out of to do my woodcuts, I already have my cutting knives with me.  If I write the book I will for sure illustrate it.

Sports have been important too.  I spend a good deal of time biking around on my mountain bike.  I like to play basketball.  Thinking about running a little more around the 200m track, that might be a good thing to do.  I really need to buy some weights at Walmart.  I can get some of the dumbbells that you can take weight on and off of.  My appetite has greatly increased since my system has gotten used to food here, so its time to regain all the strength I've lost recently.  Nothing serious, but I got all the time in the world and no excuse not to get fit any more.

So, back to my trip to the beach.  It was a tun of fun.  We went to the beach just on the other side of town, it wasn't far at all.  WE stayed at the Sheraton.  The Sheraton? One of the most baller hotels I've ever seen.  It had a massive outdoor pool, it was just off the beach, and everything was just beautifully designed, from the 30 foot tall glass sculpture hanging in the lobby to the massive bathrooms- as big as the rooms.  At the hotel I went swimming with the son of our assistant principle, the 19yo and 15yo rich girls, and their 14yo brother.  The 15yo old was all over me.  Why not you say?  No man I'm not pulling that kind of shit.  If I'm still here in three years, maybe.  Both the rich girls have boyfriends... a godsend because I don't want to think about the young one and I don't want to pretend to do long distance and have to cheat on the sly.  

The kids asked why I wasn' t dating another foreign teacher.  I'm pretty tired of American girls right now to be honest.  Never really had a bad case of the yellow fever, but I'm trying to get a Chinese girlfriend that thinks I'm the shit.  They go crazy over white guys.  I'm trying to be appreciated.  Its not too easy finding a decent Chinese gf right now.  I don't really have that much contact with Chinese girls my age.  There aren't any universities near me, all the universities here are on the edges of the cities, and I'm right downtown in the center of things.  My best chance is meeting one at McDonald's or on the street at night while I chill out and eat street food.  Meeting girls in the bar here is easy... but they are without a doubt all hoes or total gold diggers.  I've met girls on the bus in the past, but I have a bike so I don't use the bus much.  If I'm serious about getting a Chinese gf I need to stop spending all my time with my American friends and start spending more time out and about, and I'm not sure if I'm there yet.

It felt so good to swim in the ocean, I felt like a fish.  Today was the first day I've felt cool outside in Shenzhen.  No AC necessary today, the temperature was perfect.  A little cloudy.  The ocean was the temperature where it took me a few seconds to get in, but I got in fast enough and it felt great.  Its nice to feel the saltwater in your mouth and the taste the sweetness of freshwater again.  I've been writing for long enough so I'm off to lay down for a few minutes before I go out to play ping pong (which contrary to popular belief here in China is NOT a real sport) and go for a walk.  Can't wait to get the flatscreen tomorrow and solve all of my problems!

Flat Screen Dreams

So last night my TV broke midway threw the second episode of Heroes season 2.  Fucking bummer! Especially since I cant get it fixed for a while.  I can't contact the necessary parties at my school until they get off of vacation, and I can't get my man James Jones, our coordinator for the Shenzhen program, to put the screws on my school and force them to take action until later either.  So right now its just me stuck with a broken TV.  

Is this a problem or an opportunity?  I'm thinking 47inch plasma.  $1000.  I just barely have the money, and at that price, including mall mount and installation... I really don't know if it is even possible to say no.  Am I excessive? Most definitely.  Hey man, I gotta start being a baller sometime, and that time seems to be right now.  If I buy this TV... It means another year in China.  Another year in Shenzhen.  To be honest I'd rather be here.  The weather is bomb.  Way nicer than northern China.  Shenzhen was China's first experiment with the free market, and it is one of the best cities for opportunities.  I really like that.  In 20 minutes I leave for the beach.  I'm excited.  It should be a lot of fun.  I'm pretty pumped.  When I get back?  Buyin that fuckin TV!

Rich Chinese Dudes

Last night I watched the Packer game over the Internet.  The thing kept freezing at first but it got better as time went on.  The quality was shitty... but hey, I got to watch the game at least!  In the commercial breaks it was flipping between the gamecast of the Brewers game and the Mets game.  At least that situation turned out well... actually amazing, considering I have never seen the Brewers go to the playoffs ever! Fuck Ben Sheets, without Sabathia we would be absolutely nowhere.  My thoughts on the only Packer game I've seen this season... where is the running game and where is the run defense?  We need at least one of those to succeed and in Tampa we had neither.  Went home after the Packer game (I watched it in an Internet cafe) and chatted it up with Jose until the Mets lost.

So I did wake up this morning dutifully after 4 hours of sleep and I was right- I was going to Guangzhou!  This was great news to me because it meant that I had a two hour ride to sleep... but when I entered the car there was a 19yo Chinese hottie with a very wealthy (and fucking mad cool)  father.  I had met two of this guys kids already, but today I found out he had 4 and met the rest of them.  That's awfully ballin in a country with the one child policy...

So I talked a bit on the ride and slept for about an hour, woke up feeling a LOT better.  In Guangzhou we ate a baller ass lunch and I got a bit tipsy off a lot of red wine... the Chinese way of getting drunk at a festive dinner by toasting everyone.  It was me, my assistant principle... who is kinda like a host mother here and is the one who introduced me to all the rich dudes, mr moneybags, the 19yo daughter and his 2 sons, my assistant principle's son, the rich guy's driver, and his son's university art professor.  The rich guy toasted the art professor mad times, got him tipsy, gave him a couple grand, and sent him off by paying for his cab and giving him a box of fruit or something.  Hellofa way to make friends with your son's teachers...

In China you can eat in a private room if you got a group.  It's got a private bathroom for sure and you have a private waitress or two that tends to the table and keeps the wine glasses not full... but with about a shot in a half in them, so you can toast and kill the glass of wine at any time without chugging or anything.  

So after lunch we went to a massive science museum but only to buy shit at the gift shop and check out the lobby.  Then we drove back to Shenzhen.  I talked to the girl in the backseat for a while and passed out again, went to my assistant principle's house for a simple dinner, taught her 20yo son to play Uno, and now its 9:30 and I'm watching the season finale of Heroes season one in my room. Bought season 2 for $3 on the way home.  Tomorrow, being treated to lunch at 11 am, leaving for the beach with all the characters from today at 1pm, going swimming by 5 and staying in a nice ass hotel.  I'd date that girl, I'm really thinking about it, but her college is kind of remote and far away and I don't know when I'd get to see her.  Probably not a good idea.  But the year is going well.  Networking effortlessly.  I'm going to be teaching until I get the skills and the connections  to live the Chinese dream- get fucking loaded and unleash my inner balla!

Go Packers and Why I am rich here

So I just found out that I can't post shit on my blog from the Internet cafe by my house which is just sooo fucking lame.  I think they want to restrict Chinese blogging to those who can access computers.  Its Sunday night and I'm kinda pissed off because I have to go off and chill with this family I hang out with tomorrow morning at 9:10 am which is tooo fucking early if you ask me.  Especially when you consider that I plan on staying up until 4am watching the Packets-Buccaneers game over the Internet.  I just payed $210 to watch the rest of the season online.  I didn't really want to stay up late and watch the game live but I figured I don't have any idea what I'm doing tomorrow and at least I'll wont have to work tomorrow... this might be the only Monday I don't have to work all season.  If shit aint working out tomorrow I'll just have to say I'm sick or something, who knows, I may actually be sick if I get shitty sleep. 

 

While I'm writing this its 8pm and I don't have any idea really what I'm doing tonight, whether I'm going out or not.  If I do at this hour I'm going to have to bike the buses/subway close up before 11.  Booze is fucking expensive here.  It's the same price here as it is in the US, but here you make less money and everything is totally cheaper.

 

About making less money...  so this year I make around $900 a month, for 10 months.  So that's around $9000.  Additionally I get a round trip ticket between the US and China.  But I don't pay taxes.  I have no bills, because I live at the school for free and they pay my utility bills.  I bet breakfast and lunch free at the cafeteria Monday through Friday.  Dinner you can get on the street for a dollar easily.  So essentially my living expenses could comfortably be as low as $50 a month if I was trying to save.

 

I could be making more money.  Essentially, I put in about 20 hours a week at my job.  That includes time surfing the Internet between classes in my office.  Nights and weekends I could be making 10, 20, 30 dollars an hour tutoring if I wanted to.  That's a lot of money here.  I just bought the first season of Heroes for under $5.  Movies are 70cent each.  What else do people spend money on in the US?  Cars? They don't help you much here.  No one else has a car so shit is really convenient to get to.  Traveling?  I can get to Thailand with its babes and beaches and constant cheap party for under $100 round trip.  I don't smoke, but cigarettes are 50 cent a pack. Living here is exactly like living in the US, but just imagine that everything is insanely cheap except booze, so you can devote most of your income to partying.  Really once you get over the idea that the dollar amount you make is kinda low, you realize that your disposable income is HUGE and that your job is a joke.

 

Anyone who is graduating from college and is having difficulty finding a job, or doesn't know what they want to do, or just wants to not work at a real job and party instead, seriously think about teaching here in Shenzhen.  Its not like you need to know Chinese, the basics are really easy to learn and free classes are provided.  You don't have to really know how to teach, teaching is really easy (especially at my level.)  Its not like you don't have American friends or feel socially isolated, because there are over 100 foreign teachers in this city and everyone parties together on the weekend, and during the week you hang out with the other foreign teachers in your area.  If you got the yellow fever.... Than there is no excuse not to come apply now!  Seriously though.. I think I'm gonna be here a while and if anyone wants to start a new life of prosperity during the New Great Depression in the US... I'm trying to start a China crew fo real.

lunch

The best time of day for me is for sure lunch.  Lunch usually means that I'm done teaching for the day.  12:10 rolls around and I peace- go straight to the cafeteria to get my free lunch (such a thing does exist in china) and then its off to my room... to watch heroes... fuck around on the internet, take a nap,  whatever.  Monday and tuesday I teach an informal culture class at 4:20 (thats right) and then its time to go ballin from 5 to 6:30 with some other teachers, there are usually 6 to 9 of us.  Wednesdy and Friday I'm supposed to go downtown to go to Chinese class but fuckin a I graduated- I'm not trying to study any more.  Its not that I don't want my chinese to get better, it's just that I hate studying and paying attention in class and learning charachters that I will probably forget again soon eneugh.  I know just eneugh Chinese to get myself through almost any situation, so I'm not motivated by neccessity.  When I get the Chinese girlfriend, I will learn more Chinese, until then I'm just gettin by.  I want to keep writing, but the time has come to throw on an episode of heroes, undress... and take a nap before I go out and get wasted on the schools tab to celebrate National Day with the English department of Hong Hu Primary School.